I've been think about what puts the most pressure and stress on me. What makes me worry and have down days.... Its simply my need to always be in control and DATES I put on expectations!
I always want to be in control of everything. I plan, plan and plan. Planning is not the evil in all this... however, it is the dates I put to some of my plans that screw me up.
Life is good when I put a date to something or and event I have full control of ( e.g due dates for assignment). However, in my world putting dates to think I cannot control is the beginning of my worries and all the negative feelings. I'm frustrated because I really can't control these numerous events and what makes my heart beat fast is the scripture that reminds me that your timing is not the same as mine!
In as much, as I try to believe your words all the time, I must confess that this one is difficult to swallow because I always want to know when things will fall into place or happen. What if something I want now, is what You want to give me in 5 years and vice versa! Infact, it is not a good thing to cross my mind because it ends up ruining my day.
However, in the mist of all these thoughts and my want for control, I'm constant reminded of the numerous times things did not fall in as planned. I'm reminded of all the prayer request that were not answered as requested.You modified my prayer request without my knowledge and provided me with answers that still blow my mind even till today. And Lord, You know for those, I'm still in Thanksgiving mode.
With the above realization, I wonder why I want so much control, when I have a very efficient and able King who sorts my life out for me. I wonder why I put dates to things only You have control of. In all my thinking, I realize I'm still a baby when it comes to trusting You, so Lord I consciously choose to trust You. This means that I'm taking all the dates off my expectations and totally leaning and trust on your word in Jeremiah 29 vs 11 and loving you with all of me - Romans 8 vs 23
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.(Jer. 29 vs 11)
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[i] have been called according to his purpose.(Rom.8 vs 28)
So Lord, I choose to make Your flow, my flow!
I love you Lord and thanks for all my uncountable blessings