A few years ago I looked at people who were getting married and I called them "aunty and uncle". That marriage thing looked miles away but the story is closer home now. What is your definition of a perfect wedding ceremony? What would it take to make you satisfied and fully happy on that day? Who do you want to see on that day and who should not be there? These and many more questions are what couples ask themselves. From what I have heard.. Those answers are not always all the same! Compromise begins in full force :D
Therefore, it is not a surprise that most people dream and fantasize about this BIG day. It is once in a life time (at least I know that is how God intended it to be). The colors, cake, venue, music, food, attire, dress, flowers etc... I can go on and one.
Wedding is an amazing and beautiful event if you all agree with me. However it is a one day event or a week for some cultures. Now you have to decide how significant this one day is going to be in relation to the rest of your life. Most things used and worn at weddings are only for that day.. esp. the dresses.. Very few brides ever wear their dress again... yet so much is spent on them.
Asides from all the basic things needed for a wedding... your guest are the next important item on the list. You want to make sure they have a goodtime at your wedding. Now satisfying your spouse is a lot of work... not to talk of satisfying a crowd of ppl, most of them you don’t even know.
A typical Nigerian wedding would have at least 40 %( this is an estimate) or more guest that the bride and groom do not know! Dad invites his friends, Mum invites hers, aunties and uncles do same, your siblings and even your friends invite their friends and before you know it... your guest list gets out of hands.
This can be very overwhelming to the couples about to be wedded. Cos the last thing anyone wants is to start their married life in debt. Research shows that financial stress is the # 1 cause of divorces and this is definitely not how anyone would want to start their married life.
The cost of living has really gone up over the years. And so is the cost of having a classy wedding. So I personally feel it is time a change takes place in wedding in Nigeria ( this days it is basically any Nigerian wedding anywhere- just that if it is outside Nigeria, there is a bit more control of the crowd) It is important that we CUT OUR COAT THE SIZE OF THE MATERIAL WE HAVE! If your material can only make Mini skirt... sweety... you will have to manage that! If it can make a fish tail skirt... ride on! The more the merrier!
No. of guests poses a real issue because from choosing the hall to be used to the souvenirs you need to be sure how many guest you are expecting. I have heard and seen people frustrated over this matter and I feel we have all the power to control it and enjoy our special day.
Couples should make a budget and stick to it. I think we should no longer be afraid of deciding the no. of guest we want at our wedding. Hire a bouncer at the door! A neutral person and pay them to do their job. Tell all invited guest to RSVP and inform them that they should come to the venue with their invitations.
Now, if there is enough money for everyone and extra.. by all mean throw one of the biggest party ever know. The problem is not you but those who want to be better than X or Y. We put ourselves in tight corners when we try to outdo ppl instead of living within our means.
So what does an ideal wedding look like for me?????
The ideal wedding would be a wedding of only 60Guest- family included (my friends crack up when I say this: D). Just cos I get overwhelmed by a crowd of ppl I know... not to talk of that of those I may not know at all. Also I think weddings are expensive and it is best to keep it small and classy. Furthermore... it is a one day thing and I believe it should be share with people close to the couples... not just anyone who hears there is a wedding taking place and had a dress or new pair of shoes they have been waiting for an event to wear them to. Also instead of spending thousands of dollars a wedding ceremony, I would rather my hubby and I tour the world (I’m not selfish), start saving for our kids and other future financial obligations we may have.
In conclusion, big weddings or small wedding... the bottom-line for me is waking up the on our honeymoon and seeing my love as happy as ever cos He has me and I have him too... 4 LIFE :)
What do you think is a small wedding really possible? How about a get away to a destination only few ppl can get to...lol…